Fast forward to this day. February 17, 2016. It's been quite some time since my last blog post, so I have to fill you guys in. So as you can see from my first ever blog posts (if you haven't read them please stop here and go back and read them, you'll need to know certain things to understand this post). Anyway, I began this journey began in October of 2014 and can I tell you, so many things have changed. Grab a cup of your favorite tea & continue reading.


So I told you guys about my exof eight years, how things finally ended and how God began to restore me. I went into life's ICU and got the healing that I needed to be completely restored back to my old crazy, outgoing self again. And then, the wave of sadness hit yet again. I was sure that the last time would be the last time, and it was, for him. I can honestly say we're done! *ques applause for finally stopping what seemed to be a never ending cycle* But anyway, once that was over, I found myself longing for the love and support of everyone else. I still hadn't quite learned how to be SINGLE yet. So for a while I was fine, happy, living my life and loving every minute of it. Until reality hit, I had lost my best friend. We met in middle school and we started off as really close friends and over the years things kind of turned into more than that. We had history, and that was gone. But I hadn't just lost him as a friend, it seemed that all at once, I looked up and all of my best friends were now my ex friends. It's like I began to lose every close friend I ever had. I grew bitter and lonely. It was like Okay God, I can deal with losing the relationship but Gosh, all of my friends to?! Things got tough. I started questioning God and becoming really cold and distant with him. I didn't understand what was happening in those moments. I found myself trying to catch hold of everything I could in fear that I was getting ready to lose it all.


The unhealthy patterns of going back n forth, out of that one relationship started to impact other areas. So like many of us, I found myself in another situation not long after that one ended. And again it was with someone from the past. And in some ways I found myself desperately searching to fill those empty spots with friends. And I felt the pressures of my age, everyone around me was getting engaged, married or having kids. For the first time ever since my middle school years I was the outsider. The one that just couldn't quite relate. I just knew growing up that I would be the one scrolling down the aisle by 25. But there I was one month post turning 25, feeling like all of my dreams, goals and deadlines had been completely shattered. I was Single, again.


Can I be completely honest with you guys? I was terrified. Terrified to be single. Terrified to step into this ministry. Terrified to end things when all of my guy friends that I was once just "talking to". The thought literally made me feel empty inside. How can I encourage single women when I really didn't want to be single at that time. How can I write posts about self love and living happily single yet I so desired to be in a relationship. How can I say: "you'll lose a lot of friends following Jesus", and in that moment I wanted all my friends back and Jesus, if he chose to stay. I'm just being completely real with you guys.


I had to completely hit rock bottom. I stopped posting on the unweddedyetsustained social media sites for a while. And then I found myself deleting the Instagram altogether because I had decided that I didn't want to be single anymore. Ha. It's funny how our desire to be in love causes us to disobey the Lord.


So there I was, 25, no kids, no ring, no friends. What was a girl to do?! LIVE!So I started again, I started encouraging myself and making moves. I got up one day and decided that I was no longer benefiting from being in the environment I was once living in and I had just had it with the job I was in at that time so I started to pray for change. And it seemed like all in a flash of an eye I was living in a new state (Georgia) leaving behind all the old things in (Florida).


And I was learning to be alone; and learning to fight for the things that I believed in, like this ministry. Removing people that weren't pushing me towards my purpose and pursuing my career goals. And finally, I wasn't running away from my single season, I was running into it.



I had to learn a few things. Like, God is in control of my life and my job is to be the vessel that his blood runs through. I am his witness. I can't run away from him every time things get tough, I have to confront things and deal with them. And with his help I'm learning to be okay with everything that I am right now including: being single.

And here's 5 things I've learned on this journey back to being happily single:

1. Don't let the fear of being single stop you from obeying God

2. Being happily single does not mean you lack the desire to be in a relationship it means that you're content with YOU, whether you are in one or not

3. Moving on can sometimes be literal. It may mean that you find yourself desiring to Move to another state, switch schools, leave that old job and start a new. Don't limit yourself to one place, who knows where you'll end up meeting you future mate, try something different even if it's a new coffee spot down the road or a new cafè, but whatever you do, do with the intent to move on!

4. No matter how many times you have had to start over never regret the process. The joy I find in knowing that some day I will have to completely start over with someone new is greater than my fear of it. Some people stay in relationships simply because they are afraid to start over. Starting over is the perfect way to start again. It's the perfect place to revisit your standards and relationship goals while working on yourself in the mean time. What should be scarier is being in a mediocre relationship, forever!

5. Some days are going to simply: TOUGH. Let's be honest here, we are human and our human desire is to love. We will want to be in love. We will want marriage. We will have days where we will want to just settle for our exes out of fear of never meeting our boas. We will struggle and cry and be in pain. Seasons will change and some of us will remain Single, and that's okay. The main thing is to keep our eyes on the Lord, he will help us through.

And of course continue to follow, repost and tag your friends to the unweddedyetsustained movement because I will continue to encourage you on this journey to! We're in this together!

Love always,

Janay

xoxox

 

 

How I Survived ICU....

Society questions us constantly! Where are you working? When are you going back to school? How is that job going for you? You don't speak to so and so anymore? Why did you end your past relationship? When are you going to get married & have kids? Are you even looking for a new car? The questions are almost never ending! Our families are asking questions, our friends are quite curious and honestly, if you're anything like me, it causes you to start questioning as well. Leaving you in a state of constant agony and worry that you aren't where you're suppose to be. I want you to just stop and think about your own life and the questions currently bombarding your mind (pause for a minute and actually think). Now I want you to take another minute and think about this question carefully... Where am I? Ponder upon it and when you have the answer, I want you to write it down. Now I want you to get this: In order to understand where You are, you have to understand where you've been.

You see, three months ago I checked myself into life's ICU. I was in a state of mental exhaustion, spiritual doom, and my body was to weak to take the pressures of life. I had just gotten out of the eight year relationship with my ex and my life was in complete shambles. And if you read anything else that I've written or posted you'll know that it's NO secret that I still have a few pieces of my heart sitting in his old apartment. I was so broken, I really felt like I was beyond repair. So I completed my admission forms, placed on my hospital gown, and begin my journey towards death. You see when you check into ICU, there is a likelihood that you won't make it back out. ICU means I have tried everything to regain my normal state of mind and I STILL can't. ICU means that I've lost all power and ability to return to mitosis on my own. ICU means that without the help of the Doctor I am NOT going to make it! ICU can sometimes also mean that I've fought all I can I fight and I'm so ready and willing to throw in the towel of life. I wanted to end it all. I had truly lost my MIND! It seemed like I was drifting in a world where no one understood the severity of my depression. Quite frankly, No one even knew! I felt alone. I felt torn. I felt used and abused. I felt worthless. My self esteem hit an all time low. My anxiety was through the roof. I did not know what to do. Let alone purpose, vision, and goals. I could have dared someone to ask a question during that time because I had a good answer! Where am I? I am in ICU! Where am I? I am at the end of my rope! Where am I? I have placed on my clothes and causally entered into my death bed. Let me tell you about the man that we serve! He will allow you to go into life's ICU so that you can realize that HE is the ultimate Life Support! Hallelujah! He will allow you to throw the towel in and prepare for your own death, So that he can show you who provided you life in the first place!! Oh sis I don't think you're hearing me! You have to allow yourself to sit in your own pity for a few moments. You have to allow yourself to grieve for a few moments. You have to take off your cape and put your gown on for JUST a few moments! Because that is when your doctor, your king, your ruler, your way maker, your purpose filler, your blood thicker becomes your soul winner! And so I was in Life's ICU but only for a Few moments!! He's not going to keep you where you are! You will rise again! You will not die! He that created a GOOD work in you shall finish it! Philippians 1:6. Let me tell you something! You may have fallen off! You may have given in! You may have not know WHO, What, when or where you are but believe me God does! So when they ask you: Where Are You? I want you to be real and tell them: I am in Life's ICU, but I know that my God is going to bring me through!

I can tell you that because I survived it! I may not be where I wanna be or where they I think I ought to be But Thank GOD that I am in the perfect position to receive his blessings! 

I pray that you will not dwell in your gown! But that you will Keep it on long enough for your savior to come in and place back on your crown AND your cape! Amen! 

Love & Understanding, 

Janay Keel 

UnweddedYetSustained is a dynamite movement! Please follow me on social media! IG: unweddedyetsustained Twitter: TheUYSMovement and Like The page on Facebook: unweddedyetsustained 

I love you! And as always please take the pledge! 

R.I.P To The Women I Use To Be

October is known as the Month of Fall Leaves, Autumn Breeze, Cute
Sweaters, and Cuddle Weather. But October has grown to have a
different meaning for me. October is the month where I say good-bye to
the woman that I use to be. Up until now I have thrown a pity party
almost every day since the ending of my relationship with THE Ex. You
know… the ONE I really loved and who I thought truly adored me. The
one I thought that I couldn’t live without. The one who I KNEW I would
marry, bare his kids and live happily ever after in our four bedroom
house in the middle of the city. I did NOT desire a white picket
fence. I just wanted to live cute and comfortably with the man of my
dreams. Boy, did GOD have a different plan for me.

When the break UP happened, there were so many chances for us to
rekindle the flame. The ENEMY fought hard to get me to go back into
the whirlwind and vicious cycle of loving a man who did NOT deserve
my love. Let alone my time, effort, energy, trust, and
even my Phone Number. That’s right; I ended every form of contact.
Because I knew, that like all the other times, he’d “promise to
change”, “make things right”, and “Become the man I needed him to be”
and he WOULD, for the first week of us reuniting ; But just like
gravity, it’ll all come crashing down again. And because I had heard
it all before, I made the FINAL decision to leave the pieces on the
floor; pick up the part of my heart I had left; stuff it in my side
bag, and move ON. Eight years later. More break ups than I care to
share. More promises than I care to even extend my pinky out for. With
the break up came an overwhelming surge of Pain. I was BROKEN.
BRUISED.BEAT UP. I felt like I had been jumped by a group of mobs.
Honey, I had no fight left in me. I was outdone. But there’s one thing
I knew for sure, it was truly time to LET GO AND LET GOD!

That is when he started to Rebuild. You see, the enemy knows that with
every single season comes the opportunity for New life. New love. New
freedom. New relationships. And A New level of anointing from God. So
he pulled every card that he could to keep me in that TOXIC
situationship. But Honey, I am so Glad GOD intervened! This is not
some story about how a woman suffered from a broken heart and GOD
healed her immediately from the hurt. (Although that IS POSSIBLE!)
This is more of a personal testimony of his healing. I had truly lost
ALL hope. I lost the fun, loving, witty girl that I used to be. I
Allowed my single season to become a burial site. It literally felt
like I was showing up to my own funeral every day. I WAS MISERABLE! I
couldn’t believe that GOD had allowed my life to get so low. One day,
as I was doing my normal funeral like service routines, the holy
spirit begin to speak to me. He sent people to minister to me. He
started reminding of who I used to be. He began to provide me with
clarity. And Comfort. And Love. And Peace. And Understanding. And just
like that The UnweddedYetSustained Movement became my reality. Before
this post. Before this blog. Before the Instagram and Twitter were
created, I was LOST. Like many of you, I had allowed my identity to be
placed in someone other than CHRIST. But on this day, October 2, 2014
I will be holding my final Funeral service.

Eulogy:

Janay Keel was a gift to her Parents Ms. Keel and Mr. Dunmore on
September 24, 1989. Ms. Keel was born in Fort Lauderdale, FL at a
local public hospital. Her time of delivery was at approximately
8:30pm. She leaves behind two brothers and a nephew-pet French Bull
Dog. Ms. Keel passed away as a result of broken heartedness and
self-pity.

September 24, 1989 - October 2, 2014

On October 3, 2014 Ms. Janay Keel was born again as The creator of The
UnweddedYetSustained Movement. I am a B6 Woman,
Bashful-Blissful-Bravely-Bold-Beautiful-Being!  Single and Maintained
woman.

Acknowledgements:

Thank you for your time, I realize that this journey isn’t easy and
sometimes the last thing we want to hear is another person telling us
what they did to get through. I know that it seems like you will not
make it. Like this heart ache is too much to bear.  You feel sad,
unloved, and alone. But if you stick with me during this journey, I
promise GOD will renew the Queen in you. You are a B6 Woman too. I
believe in the GOD of miracles! October is the Month of Healing and
Happiness being restored! And like me, I believe that God is going to
Birth something new and refreshing in YOU!  This movement is more than
just another hoax to get likes, comments, and followers. This is the
beginning to the end. It is a movement that celebrates the ending of
Self-Pity and the beginning of HEALING.



Cheers to Being Single Again && Loving every minute of it,

Janay Keel

Please Share this with your friends and family via email or Social
Media. Follow me on Twitter @TheUYSMovement & Instagram
@Unweddedyetsusained  && Please Take The UYS Daily Single Woman
Pledge!

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